getting bridesmaids to help plan your wedding. etiquette is important!

We have heard too many horrific bridezilla stories and perhaps gone through a few as bridesmaids ourselves. A note to brides: Your lovely girlfriends, sisters and cousins are helping you on the most important day of your lives. The least you can do is to be appreciative, understanding and grateful to them. This means not to take their help for granted, and not to assume that every bridesmaid has the resources (be it time or money) to match your demands for your wedding.



1. Dresses:

Instead of asking each bride to pay for a customised dress which she might not wear again after the wedding, consider renting. This would cost less. Not only that, it would save you much headache designing something for the girls, making sure the sizes are right, and if you shop online, do so with plenty of time to spare to ensure the dresses arrive on time. 


2. Still on dresses:

If you are not paying for the bridesmaids' dresses, then let them do it within comfortable means. Give the ladies a general idea of what you want (colors to fit the wedding theme), and let them choose their own dresses. This allows the girls to find something within their budgets and still find dresses in styles which they look and feel good in. Instead of one solid color (for instance red), if possible, consider a spectrum of the same hue - bright red, wine red, crimson, chilli red. This will give your bridesmaids more options in finding complementary colors that suit their skin tones.


3. Now on shoes:

Again just like the dresses, you could decide on the shoe colors, and let the 'maids choose the shoe styles they are comfortable with. Some might prefer heels while others cannot wear heels for long. We have heard a few brides mentioned that they do not even restrict their bridesmaids where shoes are concerned since many have long beautiful bridesmaids dresses on, and shoes are hardly visible. 


4. Travel

If you have a destination wedding, keep in mind there are those who might not be able to fund a travel just to be there a few days before the wedding. Even if there is no traveling involved, your girlfriends might be busy with work or family to make it to all the pre-wedding events. If you schedule activities like bridal shower or bachelorette party, and a few of the girls could not make it, this does not have to be the end of the world. With technology, you can Facetime, Whatsapp them along the way, or simply have someone video the event to share with the absentees later on! Be grateful and happy that they are still going to make it for your wedding day! 


5. Make up

If you have a personal make up artist who will also help the bridesmaids with their looks, that is perfect! But if this is not within your budget, consider asking a few of the maids with great techniques to help those less adept with putting on make up for an event like weddings. 


6. Bridesmaids gifts.

At Jewelsalem, we receive many custom orders for bridesmaids' gifts. What we discover is, most brides are so sweet and thoughtful, opting for gifts which the maids can use on the actual wedding day. Most popular choice is the flower hair combs, customised to the colors and them of the wedding. On top of that, some brides add on matching bracelets, earrings and necklaces. These pretty gifts not only will give the bridesmaids a coordinated look for your wedding but also are items which your maids can use after the wedding.  

Another suggestion for bridesmaids gifts is to bring your bridesmaids to a spa session or treat them to a pampering pedicure and manicure. These experience could also help all the bridesmaids get to know each other before the big day and break the ice a bit... not to mention, creating a relaxing experience for the bridesmaids (and yourself) to unwind from the hectic wedding planning.

Some brides even throw a small party or high tea after the wedding just for their bridesmaids, to thank them for the help. A handwritten note, or even a handmade card would also be a sweet gesture. This is something which the bridesmaids would definitely appreciate. 


7. Organisation

At the first meet up of all the bridesmaids, have a list where you can delegate the duties to each of the girls. But many choose to do this in a less formal setting, so that everyone can also mingle and get to know each other better. Be organised and be specific in letting each bridesmaid know what help you need from them. Having a list helps to make the planning less confusing, making sure there are no overlapping duties for the bridesmaids. Having a list also gives the bridesmaids ample time to help you prepare for the wedding. The last thing you want is to do this at the very last minute. 

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